Today I am having a colonoscopy. For the past week or so I have been reading advice online and talking to co-workers about how to comfortably down 4 liters of the vile tasting Colyte. The tips involved selecting the least offensive flavor packet (lemon-lime according to most) and various techniques for the drinking — refrigerating the Colyte, using a straw, trying not to breathe while drinking, and sipping a tastier drink (tea, juice, soda) before and after each glass. The alternate drink idea was the most common suggestion, but the thought of adding even more liquid to the process seemed particularly unappealing.
Because my procedure is in the afternoon, I am drinking my Colyte in two sessions. Yesterday I drank half of it using variations of all the tips I had read or heard. Apparently I am unable to drink without breathing (especially through a straw), and none of the suggestions worked very well, because I could both smell and taste the gross medicine.
Late last night it occurred to me that I might try my technique for cleaning the grill tops on the stove. Because I can’t handle breathing in oven cleaner, I always hold a dryer sheet to my nose when I’m spraying it. The sheet is easy to breathe through, and eliminates both the oven cleaner smell and fumes, so I thought I would try this while I was drinking the medicine. This morning I was amazed that I couldn’t smell or taste the Colyte, and could easily manage to finish each 8 oz. glass. Here’s my technique:
Add water to the Colyte as directed, refrigerate overnight
Add the flavor packet if you have one, although I don’t think it really matters
Have a dryer sheet ready and some lemon or lime slices
Pour an 8 oz. glass of Colyte
Placing the dryer sheet over your nose, take a big breath through your nose then exhale
Begin drinking the Colyte while slowly breathing in through the dryer sheet — try to do this without exhaling
When you’ve finished the glass (or as much as you can manage to drink in one long breath), keep the dryer sheet in place for a few seconds and put a lemon slice in your mouth before you exhale (this helps with the after-taste).
I did not use a straw because I can drink faster without it. Of course, there may be people who hate the fragrance of dryer sheets, but I can assure you that it is way better than the smell of the Colyte.